EXCERPT THE PETTY DETAILS OF SO-AND-SO'S LIFE
A novel by Camilla Gibb









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EXCERPT

A photograph. A single photograph. White borders blackened with the grease of family fingers groping at the only remaining evidence of themselves: a picture of a man kneeling on all fours in the dirt. He is drunk, he is thin, he is tired. He is Oliver Taylor, a man gazing at a camera like a bewildered animal caught in headlights, looking feral and fetal and altogether strange. It’s the middle of winter, but he seems to have adapted to the bitter cold. A white shirt hangs off his otherwise naked frame like a vestigial remnant of some earlier evolutionary stage; a time when business meant business and men wore suits.

They know he came from elsewhere — emerged, devolved, transmuted from some earlier incarnation of himself — because they remember when he lived in a house with a wife, two children, and a cat, and ate roast beef on Sundays and rice pudding for dessert. His wife was called Elaine, the cat called Frosted Flake, and they were those children — Emma and Llewellyn — Em and Blue for short.




They liked their roast beef bloody and dripping, and Elaine made the rice pudding with rich, flesh-toned condensed milk because that’s what Oliver’s mother had done during the war. Which war, Elaine never told them, even though they always asked. “The war during which your granny” — that mysterious entity who lived on the other side of the ocean — “used condensed milk,” she’d answer obtusely.

Emma and Blue grew up feeling as muddled about the history of the world as they did about their own ancestry. Having learned the futility of asking questions at such a young age, it’s a wonder the question mark didn’t become extinct. They fabricated answers to unasked questions in the rank and damp of the basement. They shared secrets and understanding as they crouched by the furnace with a face like a monster in the bowels of their house in Niagara Falls.

It was there that nine-year-old Blue pulled up his sleeve to show Emma the initials he’d carved into his arm with a homemade tattoo gun made from the broken needles of Elaine’s old Singer. Emma had turned away when he’d started to pull the needles downward through his skin the day before. She’d wanted to cry out but she didn’t dare because they were already in trouble. They often were.

“It’s my first tattoo,” he declared proudly, speaking as if he’d just adopted the first strange animal in a bestiary he was planning on housing. Because theirs was a world without questions, Emma didn’t ask the obvious. She simply nodded and put her hand to his forehead to see if he had a temperature. She spent that night, and many nights that followed though, wondering if her little brother was afraid of forgetting his name. She wished she could forget hers.

In secret defiance Emma had actually changed her name. She was Tabatha — daughter of the good witch Samantha — a pretty little blonde girl who lived in a happy suburban home where mischievous witches and warlocks turned up unannounced for tea and inadvertently distressed her poor mortal father with trickery designed to embarrass him in front of curtain-twitching neighbours.

She sensed Blue’s motivation to identify himself was different. Perhaps he was afraid of getting lost in the street. She pictured some kind stranger, a Jimmy Stewart look-alike in a suit and a white hat, approaching her brother and saying in a voice out of a black-and-white movie: “Why, you look lost, son. What’s your name, boy?” Blue would pull up his sleeve to consult his bicep then and the Jimmy Stewart look-alike would exclaim, “What the dickens?”

If it were the fear of being lost and not found that compelled him to etch a deep, dyslexic “LT” into his arm, she would have suggested a different set of initials. Ones that would lead you back to a house with a swimming pool, or a mother who would buy you skates and take you to hockey practice. Initials you might want to have monogrammed on a set of towels that belong in a house with a finished basement on some street with a name like Thackley Terrace.

Instead, there they were with Elaine and Oliver, all crammed into a tiny three-bedroom house in Niagara Falls, across the street from a restaurant offering french fries and chow mein available twenty-four hours. The house, a decrepit building that they’d bought for next to nothing, stood on the tawdry main street, sandwiched between a hardware store and a used-clothing store. In its previous incarnation, their house had been a pet food store, evidenced by the basement full of dog food that was part of the bargain. Before that, as Elaine and Oliver deduced on the basis of what lay behind the cheap drywall, it must have been a porn shop. The building was apparently insulated with mouldy copies of Penthouse.

The upstairs had obviously been a boarding house because each of the bedrooms smelled like dead bodies and old cheese and there was a fridge in one of them and a cooking element in the closet of another. But Emma and Blue each had their own room for the first time in their lives and this was better than anything that had ever happened before. Even better still, Elaine allowed each of them to choose a colour for their bedroom walls. Blue, of course, chose his namesake, and Emma asked for the colour of the sun, wherein a long debate ensued between Elaine and Oliver about just what colour that was. In the end, Oliver painted Emma’s bedroom a colour that turned out to be more custard than sunshine. Emma helped her father, pointing out all the spots he’d missed and getting underfoot and nattering on inanely while he strained his neck to paint the ceiling.

“You’re getting in the way,” he finally said, irritated. She opened the door of the closet then and sat on the floor, out of Oliver’s way. When she leaned back against the flimsy, fake-wood panelling at the back of the closet, though, she discovered a hole the size of a saucepan lid. Curious, she reached inside and wrapped her fingers around a hard, mysterious object. She tugged and pulled and finally yanked a grey bone longer than her leg out from the noisy clatter behind the panelling.

“Daddy! Look! A dinosaur bone!” she shrieked. “What on earth have you got there?” he asked, puzzled.

“I told you — a dinosaur bone!”

“Fancy that,” mused Oliver, putting down his paintbrush. He crawled inside the closet with her and said, “I wonder if the rest of its bones are here.” He reached down into the hole and said, “Yup. There’s definitely something here, all right.”

He ripped the panelling down and there, amidst dust, used condoms, and fossilized chocolate, were several large teeth. “Dinosaur teeth!” Emma squealed in delight, picking them up in her hands.

Oliver chuckled and said, “Doubtful, but interesting nonetheless.” Later that day he drilled a needle-sized hole through one of the molars and strung it on a piece of string so that Emma could wear it around her neck. She wore it proudly, even though a boy at school called her a cave woman, in the hope that if she rubbed it the right way, she would be teleported into a secret world where animals larger than trucks ate clouds for breakfast. She and her dad could travel back in time and discover lost cities and people who spoke languages before English was ever invented. Worlds far more interesting than Niagara Falls.


Excerpted from The Petty Details of So-and-so's Life by Camilla Gibb Copyright 2002 by Camilla Gibb. Excerpted by permission of Doubleday Canada, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

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